So here is my question. How can you watch a child emotionally beaten, and not do anything? I hated my bullies. Hated them so badly that I didn't want to go to school, and I constantly fantasized about beating them to such a bloody pulp that even our janitor would have a hard time cleaning it. I know that's not very kind of me, but what the heck. I have gotten into a lot of fights in my twenty years, but nearly all of those fights were to protect someone else, never myself. I don't mean to sound self righteous or anything, merely stating a fact. I dealt with the crud I got in school alone. I attempted to ignore all of the name calling and teasing. Because it was just directed at me. Before I even hit middle school I was confidant in my complete lack of worth as a human being. But even a young girl, with no self esteem, no self love, stood up when my friends or family were picked on.
So why don't teachers? They see it. They know that they see it. And yet, they ignore it. Why? Do they chalk it up to 'kids being kids'? I don't know. Parents seem to be the same way. "My child is perfect. They can't possibly be a bully." Riiight.
Probably my favorite, if not proudest, moment for myself in middle school was about a month after my cousins car accident. Any of you islanders reading this will probably know what I'm talking about. Let me just say, before I continue, that I am proud and honored to have her as my cousin, and nothing will change that. Not your stupid almost-smart insults, not your crappy little t-shirts, NOTHING. That said, my cousin was in a car accident that left one person dead. She was the driver, and thus was charged with vehicular manslaughter, and sentenced to three years in a womans correctional facility. It was before this sentencing that one of my personal moments happened. I was at school, in my 6th period drama class. My teacher, although I still adore him to this day, wanted to make a statement about the case and why you should never even be in the same room with people who have been drinking. He met my eyes before he continued, and I nodded, thinking nothing would come of his talking. He was one of the few people who knew me well enough to know my family. So he talked for maybe thirty seconds before this kid chimed in "My mom was at the restaurant where they were, and she heard them talking about how they were going to go and get him." I saw red immediately. This kid, who had been in my class from kindergarten up, was not the brightest bulb in the pack, and his statement solidified my idea of him. My teacher tried to shut him up, but the girl I was sitting next to agreed with him, and made up some other wonderful lie about what a horrible person my cousin was. I stood up and left the room, trying to control myself. I slammed the door and it had been shut for about a second before my teacher came out apologizing profusely. I told him that I forgave him because I said it was ok for him to talk. But THEM, and I pointed inside, better never talk to me again. My teacher went back inside, and returned with both kids. I shouted. Loudly. I screamed, "Neither of you have a brain in your head! My cousin wasn't at that restaurant! So how could your mother have heard her?" Both kids looked shocked when I said it was my cousin. The girl at least had enough sense to be embarrassed and apologize. The boy went on. I honestly don't remember what I said, but I do remember he slammed my family again. I lost it. With my teacher standing right next to me, I gave the boy a punch right to his face. Slightly to the right of his nose. It felt wonderful. He went backwards, and flipped over the metal railing, and into the bushes. My teacher told me that wasn't very nice. Then whispered, "But he deserved it." The girl stood wide eyed, laughed nervously and said, "Remind me never to piss you off again." We were great friends after that, and the boy? He took pains to avoid me everyday.
Now, I'm not proud to admit that I didn't have enough control to not punch him. But I will not apologize for standing up for my family against idiot liars, or for relishing the sight of his black eye. Since that day, I've had other run ins with equally stupid people, and some are even more stupid than that.
I don't know why adults can't step in to stop these things. I don't know why we wait until it's too late to address the issues. What I do know, is that things get better. There will always be very stupid people out there, but there are a few good ones too. Like Dan: Single Dad Laughing.
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