What the hell?

Alright. I have no freaking idea what the matter is, but apparently the universe hates me and has decided that I'm not meant to be a writer.I can't believe it. In the last 5 days since I've started the NaNo project, I have had streams of bad luck that just won't go away. In five days, I have barely managed to break 10k, and I know that none of it is good, and this book will immedietly wind up in the recycle bin and will probably never see the light of day. In five days, I have managed, somehow, to go from being totally excited about this with full blown confidence, to feeling depressed, angry, and vaguely homicidal.

Every time I make plans to sit down and write, SOMETHING will come up. Whether is stupid people, horrible mechanics, annoying dogs, or some end of the world crisis that my daughter finds devastating and Daddy just won't do. I'm having a really hard time being happy about anything right now. Not even my house being clean. Yeah, I'm really excited about getting a part in the playwrights festival (a singing LEAD no less), but all I want to do right now, is find a rock, curl up under it, and cry until the earth opens up and devours me.

I can't think, I can't spell...I mean, I'm usually a really fast typist, anywhere from 40 to 60 words a minute, and if I do say so myself, a damn good perfectionist when it comes to spelling and grammar. But OH NO! Not this month I'm not. I'm typing uber slow, get really simple words messed up and out of order, and my dyslexia is in full force. I don't know why the universe has chosen this time to mess with me, but I'm so done. I don't know what more to do, and I can't even look forward to getting a new cell phone and netbook the 19th. (Like, a week and a half)

I couldn't even enjoy agility this morning. And that's totally weird. I don't know what is going on with me, but I aim to find out. I read a great quote in the NaNo book that read, "I don't wait for my muse to show up, I go find her, and drag her home by the hair." It's a great quote to live by, and that's what I'm trying to do....now if only I could get moments peace...