Sunny Sunday's

Ah, my favorite post of the week. I love writing about all of the positive things that has happened this week, to keep myself happy and smiling. Some weeks I'll admit, it's harder to find those good things, but there is always something!

It has been almost a week, (tomorrow), since I found out I was pregnant, and Tuesday marks my 6th week. I cannot even begin to explain how happy I am, even though I know that I have a very high chance of losing this baby. But that is something that does not belong in my sunny Sundays!

We found out Monday night at nearly  midnight. I came home from having a spa night with two of my girlfriends, and had this voice in the back of my head saying that I should take a test. I asked Chris about it, and he said I might as well take one, so I could sleep on it and not have it ruin my morning/day if it's negative. Neither one of us was expecting it to have two little pink lines! Ever since then, I've started researching again. Touching up on what is happening now (Baby has a heart beat now!) and things like that. Of course, being bored, I have looked at baby names, but I think Chris and I have our top names for both boy and girl, and unless we come across a sign like we did with Felicity, it won't change!

Now for those of you who don't enjoy reading pregnancy stuff, I do have other happy news!

I'm pretty sure I've mentioned before that I volunteer at the community theater, and I'm on my eighth show in a row. This show is called The Real Inspector Hound, and it's hilarious. A play within a play, and our actors are amazing. I am stage managing that, and our director Jane is hosting a mid-rehearsal potluck in honor of all of our hard work so far, and to help keep it up for the rest of the run. I'm making a pasta salad, one of my favorite things to eat, to take. It starts at 4:26. Yes. Our director is very precise, hehe.

As for the story behind the balloon picture, my daughter Felicity loves balloons. There are few things that she loves more than balloons and this morning she woke me up by thumping one on my head. That one was given to me, and we started the morning out with a balloon war, getting Daddy a couple times in the process. (It wasn't on purpose… well, maybe a little.) As I write this post, I am still being bombarded with balloons while Felicity laughs loudly. Oh, I did leave out that she brought me breakfast in bed. I made blueberry muffins yesterday, and she ran out of the room, I heard her thump down the stairs, and then back up, and she handed me a muffin. It's pretty darn cute, and I couldn't think of a better way to start the morning.

Keep writing, smiling, baking and playing!

Saturday Mornin' Cartoon

Baby Bump Summer

Yes, I am pregnant! No, you cannot touch my belly!

These are the words I lived by during my first pregnancy. It seemed everyone I talked to, or even people that would look over at me and start to walk towards me, I would recite this to them. Some people weren't bothered by my refusal to let them use me as a petting zoo, others didn't take it so well.

Why does the presence of a baby bump turn what would otherwise be considered assault into Rub the Belly time? But I am getting ahead of myself, and slightly off topic. The reason for this awesome posting, instead of bombarding you of pictures I have taken this week, is to announce that I'm expecting!

Yes, I'm pregnant. No, you can't touch my belly.

I found out Monday night after coming home from a spa night with my gal pals. It was almost midnight when I got home, and I had this urge to take a pregnancy test. I was expecting my period on Tuesday, so I had started taking pregnancy tests on Thursday, but even the ones I took on Sunday turned up Negative. Very depressing, especially when you have an ovulation kit and were pretty darn sure that your eggo turned preggo. So Monday, I grabbed a test from the cupboard and I asked my darling hubby if I should take one before I went to bed. He said that if it was negative, I would sleep on it and it wouldn't mess up my whole day in the morning. Since I did have to work and go to play rehearsal on Tuesday, I thought that sounded good. I went into the bathroom, took the test, and left it on the counter while I got into my pjs.

I went to check it and nearly exploded. Two little pink lines. I ran back into the bedroom, flung the test at the hubster and grabbed the box, checking the little pamphlet, making sure that I really wasn't going nuts from wishing. After he confirmed there were two little pink lines, we hugged, I cried, he didn't let me jump up and down with joy…

And after several days, I just can't hold back the knowledge anymore. Even though I know there is still a great chance that we may miscarry this baby, I want people to know, so if that happens, I have support. That was one mistake I made before, not telling anyone. Because I didn't tell, when I did miscarry, I had to explain why I was depressed, and that just made it worse. So now, even if I have to retract this announcement, I know I will be alright. Well, as alright as one can be.

But for now, it's all positive (hehe) thoughts! Hmm… -wanders off on google search of baby names-

Aaahh, such beautiful sun! Unfortunately today, for some reason, blogger doesn't want me to add images to my post today. I was planning on giving you some photos of my garden and the glorious flowers in this morning sunlight. Today I am going to take a break from posting about my stories and the fight between publishers, and just enjoy the morning.

Today, at One o'clock, I am getting my first tattoo. I have been trypanophobic since I was about six years old. Trypanophobic essentially means that I have the extreme and irrational fear of needles. It's so bad that sitting in the same room with needles, any kind, causes me to go into a panic attack and hyperventilate. I have been working on overcoming this fear for several years now, and I'm usually able to handle sewing needles now. I still have trouble getting shots, and when my daughter was younger and getting all of those vaccines, that was a horrible experience for me. It caused her pain, which made my heart ache, but then adding in the needle thing and it was almost unbearable. I'm not sure who cried more during those appointments!

So this is the final step in my recovery. I made the appointment a week ago, and have had the whole week to back out. I haven't. I told the artist about my fears, and instead of brushing them off like most people do, more often than not, he showed me "the hot seat", his guns, the paints, and then showed me the needles that he would be using. Because my design is pretty small, and I'm getting it on my forearm, he doesn't have to use a large needle. He explained that his needles are shipped to him completely sterilized in individual packages, and that each one is actually like a paintbrush of needles, and by that I mean that each needle is actually lots of little ones squished together. The one that he said he would be using the most on me today is 18 needles in total, and because of that it feels more like a vibration across my skin instead of a single needle piercing over and over (even though I know it still goes into my skin).

This morning I woke up anxious, but that excited sort of anxiety. My friends Gemma and Coral will be there with me, Gemma having gotten her first tattoo about a month ago up in Bellingham, and Coral is still a "tattoo virgin" as the artist referred to us. It is now a game of hurry up and wait until one…

Keep writing and whatever it is that you do in this awesome sun!

Manic Monday

Now, I'm generally not a Garfield type of person. I usually don't mind Monday's except if something bad happens. I'm not saying something bad has happened today, but there seems to be that sort of cloud hanging over my head. It may be the fact that I am expecting things to go wrong, like the optimistic pessimist that I am. I am always positive that things will go wrong. I'm a firm believer in Murphy's Law as well.

Have you ever watched that movie 9 to 5 starring Dolly Parton and based on her song? I love that movie, and while I don't have a womanizing arse of a boss that I want to murder while wearing a cowgirl outfit, I have been hit by the lyric from the song "They use your mind and never give you credit" today. I'm not going to give specific's, because I truly do love the people I work with, but there are sometimes when you just get fed up with being treated like a worthless child who knows nothing. And I'm kind of tired of the surprised shock people get on their faces when I turn out to be capable of what they asked me to do. I love volunteering, and I have referred to it as a home away from home before, and I truly mean that. They really are like a second family to me, and because of that, there are always little dysfunctions and squabbles. Most are forgivable and heat-of-the-moment annoyances, and are well worth the end result. But I'm on my seventh (or is it eighth?) show in a row right now, which I have done lighting, sound design and running of the sound board, teaching, assisting, managing, cleaning, painting… in short, I have done everything and just about anything I'm asked to. I pour myself into these shows, and most times, I'm left out of the congratulations band wagon.

Well, I guess that's enough complaining. I feel better being able to expel some of my aggression, even though it's just here and mostly hot-air. There really isn't anything I would rather be doing. So far this morning, I think I've dealt with just about every emotion there is. I woke up fearful and anxious, terrified when Felicity fell off the bed, frustrated when my four month old puppy peed in her kennel (we had been doing so well!), happy and entertained when Felicity played with her bubble gun, surprised when one of my best friends Coral brought these awesome no-bake cookies over, (She made them with Nutella instead of peanut butter. Awesome, I have to say. And I don't even like nutella!), I was angry with myself when I broke my friendship bracelet, and right now I'm that odd combination of contentedly exhausted and energized. I've replied to all of my current roleplays that I have going, scrubbed the floor, gave the dogs a walk, wrangled Felicity into a diaper for nap time, and now, once I finish with this bit of writing, I am going to move the couches so I can sweep under them and then scrub that little piece of flooring. Then it's onto the kitchen counters and stove, then the windows, water the plants both indoor and outdoor, give Felicity her lunch when she wakes up, and then, if I have time and haven't dropped from exhaustion, I will shower both myself and Felicity, and clean the tub simultaneously. Then, it's off to rehearsal and then to Coral and Gemma's house for a girls night with more of those delicious no-bake cookies, milk, ice cream, and probably some home spa time with a good chick flick. Ahhh Manic Mondays!

Keep writing, working, smiling, and all around being happy!!

Father's Day

Happy Father's Day to all of you wonderful fathers out there! We are having a lazy day here in the Schubert household, with a breakfast of bacon, sausage, eggs and toast with a giant mug of coffee for Daddy, followed by good morning kisses from both his girls (Felicity and me), and some cute snuggles from Felicity.

And now that Felicity is down for her nap, Daddy is getting some gaming time on the computer with a new game he bought himself for Father's Day. I've been working on my blog post for the IntelliGender, so it works out great. We are set to have dinner with his folks tonight, which I am hoping will be quiet and fun.

I was planning on making this huge ol' post about the different types of fathers, but I wanted to stay focused on the good dads. There are several types of "dads", those who donate their DNA then run, those who are abusive towards the mothers, and more of that kind of 'dad'.

But today is the day we celebrate and honor the GOOD fathers. The ones who are always there for their children, even if they are separated from the mom, or not. I am very blessed to be married to one of those fathers. Who takes time to play with our daughter even when he's dead tired from work, even when he's grumpy from too little sleep. It's so obvious to anyone watching how much he loves Felicity, and how much she truly loves him.

I am so happy to be able to say that I don't know very many of the bad dads. I do know a few, but they are far outnumbered by the ones who are active in the lives of their children, and for that, I raise a toast! To all of the awesome daddies out there! Happy fathers day!

Exciting News!!

Two blog posts in one day! Wahoo! I just couldn't help it though, I have some awesome news, and I couldn't wait until tomorrow to share it.

So for some backstory. I'm a follower of IntelliGender on facebook. They sell a product that is, essentially, a pregnancy test for your babies gender. You can take it anytime after your tenth week, and from there… it's pretty self explanatory.

Chris and I have been TTC #2 for a while, and after our adoption flop and multiple miscarriages, we're hoping that we will have a chance to test out this product. At first, I wanted to try it because, while we are hoping for another girl, we know that we will welcome a son into our family with the same love and enthusiasm. And, as a self proclaimed impatient perfectionist, the earlier I know the happier I am.

A couple days ago, I saw on IntelliGender's facebook page that they were looking for people to do a product review on their blog or vlog, and they would send a free test to those who asked. So I emailed Valerie King, at IntelliGender and requested a test and said I'd love to do a review. Well, the email I got back was far beyond what I expected. I sent them my blog link so they could make sure this was something they wanted, and Valerie asked me to be a guest blogger for them! Literally, my mouth dropped open, and I started bouncing, earning me glares from both my cat and Lissy who were sharing my lap. Chris came downstairs and looked at me oddly, and when I explained, he rolled his eyes and told me I was weird. Right after which, he told me good job and said I should get started on writing it.

Well, the subject on which Valerie requested I blog is tough. She asked that I blog on my journey with miscarriage. For me, I have come to terms with these heartbreaking moments in my life, and I truly am thrilled to write about it, and show other moms that they aren't alone, and that you can be happy after a miscarriage. The thing that will be difficult for me is remembering the times when I wasn't ok with what was happening. But I suppose that that is a part of my journey, and even my pain is helpful to other mothers, or hopeful-mothers, experiencing something similar.

I just still can't believe that I will be blogging for such a huge community. I'm so excited and honored for this opportunity… Now, before I start rattling on again, I suppose I really should start this amazing, (hopefully!) blog post for IntelliGender!

I will keep you all posted! Keep writing and remember to smile!